Your IRL Guide

Tips to help you be safer IRL (even though we wish you didn’t have to).

We live in a world where some people have bad intentions. We want you to do everything you can to stay safe IRL, but we want to acknowledge that it shouldn’t have to be that way: You shouldn’t have to go out of your way to be safe and it’s completely unfair that some people have to take more precautions than others based on gender, gender identity, race, religion and sexual orientation.

If something happens off the app, here are some things to remember — you can block them from contacting you on the messaging service you’re using and still report them to us. Even if they’ve unmatched you, you can report the person to us here so we can look into it and determine what steps to take.

Let’s be clear: No one deserves to be put in an unsafe situation regardless of how much they drank or who they trusted to take them home. If someone made a decision to commit a violent act against you, that’s unacceptable.

Without further ado, here are some tips to help you be safer IRL, even though we wish you didn’t have to:

Before a Meetup

Don’t be in a hurry to leave the app or share your personal information: Only give out your number when you’re comfortable and be sure to keep things like your home address and daily routine to yourself when getting to know someone new.
Keep people in the loop: Let your friends and family know about your plans - it’s best to have someone you trust knowing your whereabouts.
Be in control: Handle your own transportation to the meetup even if someone offers to pick you up.
Always pick (and stay in) locations that are public when meeting up with someone you don’t really know.

During a Meetup

If you’re using drugs or alcohol, know how they affect you specifically. There are people out there who may, unfortunately, try to take advantage of that.
Keep your belongings close: Bag, phone, keys, wallet, drink? Keep it all with you.

After a Meetup

Stay in control: Handle your own transportation back home
Not a good experience? Unmatch them - and report them if you think it’s needed. No worries.

Dating in the time of coronavirus:

We’re all eager to reconnect again IRL, but it’s up to all of us to keep our communities safe. Once your local health authority approves small social gatherings and you feel ready to broaden the group you’re hanging out with, please follow the advice of your local health authority or check the guidance of the World Health Organization. When that time comes, be open about what you are – and aren’t – comfortable with. Setting boundaries and being up front with your matches about what you’re comfortable with in this time is important. Remember: your safety and peace of mind should always come first. To help along the way, we also consulted with Peter Pitts, President, Center for Medicine in the Public Interest, to develop tips for getting back to IRL dating:

Be a hero, wear a mask: Each and every time you meet someone new, be sure to cover your nose and your mouth. You’re keeping both yourself and your community safer and healthier that way. Remember: it’s suspected that the virus can be passed along even if you are not displaying symptoms.
Don’t rush to touch: Don’t shake hands, hug or kiss until you know the other person’s health status -- and practice the same caution when it becomes time to meet their friends. Connect digitally if you’re not feeling well physically: This virus affects people differently, so if you aren’t feeling 100%, have a date via FaceTime, Zoom or your favorite video messenger. It isn’t worth the risk of getting yourself or someone else sick - and you can still light some candles or have dinner delivered.
Be deliberate when choosing your date spot: If you feel comfortable meeting in person, make sure you pick a place that is practicing safe hygiene and social distancing. Bring wipes and hand sanitizer and wipe down anything you might touch or sit on. And don’t forget to frequently wash your hands!

If you do start to feel sick, follow the directions of your local health authority and let those you’ve met up with know as quickly as possible.

More tips can be found on our website here, too.